Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Incapable of True Love?


The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Last night there was a woman in our group lamenting on how poorly her mom loved her. In fact she said growing up she saw no signs of her mom's love for her.

She cried and cried as she waited for some kind of hope from the group and someone to break her emotional rant by hopefully saying something like: "don't you think such a thing, your mom loves you" but that never came.  She was reaching for that false hope we all give each other in the “real” world rather than “Truth”.  However this isn't the “real” world. This is the super-real world, where sugar coated truth will only serve as a crutch rather than help.  This is where real women have reached rock bottom and they are hurting and in desperate need of “Truth”.  And in that circle last night, we all knew the truth.

At first I didn't know what to say because I wanted to give her positive words of encouragement like so many people do “don't worry your mom loves you and cherishes you” but she and everyone in that group would’ve known that that was a lie because they were all wearing scars from their parents’ neglect and disregard.   

So I begrudgingly told her the “Truth”: our parents are incapable of loving us the way we need to be loved.

She blinked a couple of times but you can tell those words instantly gave her freedom and she wanted to hear more.

I went on to say: Our parents are imperfect and broken beings just like us and unless they went through some kind of healing, the only love they know to give is imperfect and broken love filled with baggage.  I am a strong believer that you cannot give something you do not possess.

I continued to say: The Good News is: though these imperfect human beings are incapable of loving us as we need to be loved; God, Perfect in every way and abundant in love is able to love us in that sweet and intimate way we most need.  He knows the depth of our need for love and He’s able to meet us there and love us in that specific way and fulfill that need. 

This is great news for those of us who did not grow up with the ideal.  The ideal mom that tucked us in bed at night with a gentle kiss.  The ideal parent that kissed our scrapes and bruises.  The ideal mom who was around, showed up and fought for us. 

This is Great News!  We now don’t have to wait around hoping that love comes, IT’S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!  All we have to do is accept it, embrace it and give it to others!

God, on this day help us to experience your Love for us in that specific way, filling that hole no one else can and help us as we accept and experience it, to pass it on to others.  In Jesus Name.  Amen!!

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