Friday, August 10, 2012

Your Homophobia is Killing My Sons!!!!!

I’m the proud mom of three young men; 13, 11, and 11.  These boys have the ability to make me laugh till I cry and so angry that I may spew out words that will not found in the Bible.  Nonetheless, they’re my babies and we understand each other very well.  A couple years ago, when my precious little babies started leaving the child category into the young men category, I started noticing the “mandate” society had for my boys.  It was no longer acceptable to play with the little girls on the playground; they had to do boy things like push girls around and act mischievously; society started “teaching” my boys what it means to be men. Rule number 1; you must never show any signs of having female characteristics.  I find this rule to be quite puzzling since most of our children’s elementary school years are spent with “females”. From time spent with mom at home to years in the classroom and even the shows they watch, they are inundated by females and I believe many of the parts that determine who we are is partly due to socialization.  The twins are entering six grade and they’ve never had a male teacher.   I would often hear in my house: “stop acting like girls”, my usual response is always: “what’s wrong with little girls?” I want them to know that being a man is not about putting girls/women down and I believe the categories for being boys and girls are not as rigid as we want to think, of course some stand out more.  Not only do I respond with the above question but in my heart I say a little prayer that says: “Jesus come quickly”. 

You see, only a society who has lost its way to God can pray “God let my boy be anything in the world but please don’t let him be gay”.  Only a society who has fallen far from God would rather have their sons be murders, liars and all sorts of other sinners but never gay because that is an abominable sin.  Only a society who has fallen far from God, would take their sons to strip clubs on their 16th birthdays to ensure they are not Gay.  Only a society who has fallen far from God, would allow their young men to disrespect women to prove how tough and masculine they are. Only a society who has fallen from God would abdicate their role as parent into the hands of a coach to help their sons “man up” but in return this manly coach repeatedly abuse these precious boys taking away their very being and dignity.  Society, your homophobia is killing our boys!!!!!

Instead of focusing on our sons not being gay, why not focus on developing strong men who will bend the knee to Jesus.  Why not focus on developing men who are great husbands who love their wives as Christ loves the church. Why not focus on developing resilient men who will not give up on life and their responsibilities.  Why not focus on developing men who stand up for justice and fight for the rights of the poor and the defenseless.  Why not focus on developing men who stand up for women.

This past week my oldest son said: "mom for my next birthday, I want three pairs of sneakers, one for me and the other two for my brothers in Haiti." You see we sponsor 2 third graders in Haiti and my sons have seen how they live, although they can't fully articulate what they’ve seen; I believe they’re on a journey to seeing Jesus through the eyes of some of the poorest children in Haiti. Yes!!! Our boys have the potential to do great things, let your homophobia not extinguish their potential. 

Society, get your act together and Stop!!! Stop trying to make my boys so homophobic that they are reluctant to showing compassion, cry or be kind. Your homophobia is killing our boys’ spirits and they can’t fully live for Christ in fear of being called gay!

So my prayer for our sons is: “God order the steps of my sons, let them follow you all of the days of their lives, let them love you with all of their hearts, mind and soul, let them know you intimately and follow the only one true God of love and grace; let them stand up for justice and defend the defenseless ”.  Let this be our prayer for our boys.


  1. I agree. We often exchange one for the other. How about neither. Christ like should be the goal. I don't have children but I love children to my core and I agree with your article. The prayer at the end sums it up beautifully.

    1. Thank you Brooke! Let's keep asking Jesus for Mercy and boldness to stand up for the next generation.

  2. WOW!!!!!! This is one powerful piece!!! YOu need to keep writing. Preach and teach this!!!! I am sooooooo proud!!!! :)

  3. Amen! And, like Brooke B, I believe your closing prayer sums it up nicely. Thank you for going "against the grain" and writing for the future of our children. I applaud your insight, wisdom, compassion, grace and LOVE for your children (and future generations). Blessings to you...

    Thank you, Cherisna Jean-Marie, for sharing.


    1. Thank you Dawnn! Let's keep learning and growing, the future generation is depending on us!

  4. I agree that out of fear,maachosim is embraced. I pray that Gods church would shine in the areas of Biblical manhood.
    Jesus shows this manhood well regardless of the women he was around.
    The next subject to ponder is "what is Masulinity" what is Biblical Masculinity?? And is there scripture on it? I've always wondered this.