Thursday, July 12, 2012

I had "THE TALK" with my son today...

John 14: 1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me”.

No not the sex talk, that's an on-going conversation in our family.  But the talk I had with my son today was one that ached my heart to the core.  I hated doing it but I realized some time ago as a mom raising black boys in America, there are some things I must do to prepare them for the harsh realities of this world and to help them not be embittered by those realities. 

I started playing the conversation in my head about 2 weeks ago since he started spending more time with a buddy of his from football.  He would ask to walk to the Rec-center, to the friend’s house to play with his game system and yesterday he called saying they’re walking to 7-11 for a free Slurpee.  The average mom would probably say yes as long they know the friend.  I, on the other hand, started pursuing ways to make sure he understands how to handle himself when he’s out an about with his friends. 

Well this morning I felt compelled to make sure he knew exactly how to make choices that would result in his survival if a situation was to arise.

“Sweetie, you know if the police is ever to approach you, you need to respond respectfully without resisting?” 

“Mom, why would I ever be approached by the police?”

“Sweetie, listen to me just make sure your hands are always in plain sight, do not carry anything in your hands that might be confused for a weapon, do you hear me?”

“Yes mom!”

 “You see, I know you’re a sweet and loving son but they don’t know that and sometimes black boys are feared before they are given the benefit of a doubt, do you understand?”

“yes Mom”

“I love you”

 “I love you too!”



I’m still a little sad that I had to have this conversation with my son this morning.  But I’m even more heart broken that we live in a world where children are feared rather than loved and embraced.  I’m especially heartbroken for little black boys growing up without advocates and champions.  But my heart will not be troubled or embittered; I will trust in Jesus for the protection over my black and precious babies.   


  1. Love you, Dieula. And I love your boys and I am thankful for your voice in this world and in my life. I hope we can get together again soon!

    1. Thank you Sara! I love you bunches and it has nothing to do with those precious children of yours. LOL...

  2. I love you Maga! This is sad but true.

  3. It hurts my heart that my daughter, any of her friends like yourself who I know and every parent in our society and around the world raising black boys live with the concern around this issue. It says so much about how far we have to go and not how far we've come. That young black boys have this burden that others are immune from. That in the year 2012 mothers are still having this conversation angers me more than any other issue today. May they walk with the embrace of GOD keeping them safe. .........Mary Wos

    1. Thank you Mary! It hurts me too! We fight through educating!